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Maybe it was during “girl talk” with my guy friends in school.īut even before I figured it out, I knew my grandfather did something bad. Maybe it was when I studied Chapter 4 of Science in Form 3. Maybe it was when I discovered porn by accident. I can’t remember when I realised the disturbing intentions of his action. Quick-before anyone else came into the kitchen-but long enough for me to remember his stubby beard rubbing against my neck. So when grandfather asked me to follow him into the pantry and put his hands down my panties, I just stood there like the good doll I was while he sat on a stool behind me. I knew there was a hole somewhere in my nether regions but I thought it was just for peeing. I never once asked them, “Mommy, where do babies come from?” Maybe I wasn’t quite an inquisitive child. My parents were traditional in their ways (and very strict).
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And yet now we have 8-year-olds using the word in grammatically correct sentences. I only understood its meaning a whole year later.
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I didn’t know the word ‘f*ck’ until I was 15. With about 9 other relatives on the first floor. It was in a dusty half-lit store pantry on the ground floor of my grandfather’s house. It didn’t happen in an alleyway, or in a sleazy motel room. It was silent-mostly because I had no idea what was going on. It’s not like most stories that you might have read about there was no struggling, no screaming, no taunting or violence. It's not enough to put #LoveIsLove in one's bio-we need those in positions of power to show up for our safety in real ways.It happened when I was 10. Coupled with a list of queer-friendly or queer-owned businesses, this information can help us vote with our dollars and show companies that we absolutely care who they support. While it would be hard to boycott all of these corporations (I drive a Toyota and, alas, can't exactly afford to dump it because of this revelation), sharing this information helps us to make more mindful consumer choices.
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According to news and analysis site Popular Information, CVS Health's corporate PAC has donated over $250,000 to "54 members of Congress who received a zero rating in HRC's Congressional scorecard for the 116th Congress." For a full list of corporations who are celebrating Pride online while funding discrimination against the queer community, the tracker designed by Data for Progress is a great resource. AT&T is the runner-up, having given more than $300,000 to a long list of anti-queer politicians, and Comcast has given $121,350 to anti-LGBTQ+ politicians as well. If you want to dive into some LGBTQ+ history, films like Before Stonewall, Brother Outsider, The Celluloid Closet, and Paris is Burning are a good start. Some of the many comedians you need to watch are Matteo Lane, Hannah Gadsby, Mae Martin, and Joel Kim Booster. A non-exhaustive list of LGBTQ+ filmmakers, actors, and directors whose work you shouldn't miss include Sophia Nahli Allison, Isabel Sandoval, Jane Schoenbrun, and Matthew Fifer. And that's just in the mainstream media indie films and shows by up-and-coming queer artists are equally breathtaking.
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Recent years have seen an influx of queer narratives in TV and film, whether through revivals of old favorites like Queer Eye or brand-new series such as POSE, Euphoria, or Heartstopper. We now have a wealth of incredible queer media out there, just waiting for you to dive in. As far as gay people went, there was Will from Will & Grace, but not many more notable role models.
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When I was a teen in the early aughts, the only gender-nonconforming character I saw on TV was Chandler's trans parent on Friends, who was basically there so other characters could crack transphobic jokes. Only 11 states have no anti-LGBTQ+ laws proposed in this legislative session. A smattering of other states (Oklahoma, Missouri, Arizona, Florida, and South Carolina) have bills that number in the teens as well.
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According to Freedom for All Americans, a bipartisan group fighting discrimination against LGBTQ+ people, Tennessee leads the pack, with 31 active discriminatory bills. Beyond the laws that already exist to make the lives of LGBTQ+ folks painful or impossible across the United States, there are also dozens of proposed bills making their way through state legislatures that, if signed into law, would limit our access to life-saving healthcare, civil rights, and even simple recreational activities like team sports. This basic constitutional right is constantly under attack by lawmakers who seem to prefer that we just disappear. The most critical way to support queer Americans is by ensuring we have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.